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JHW's avatar

Lewie, I’m so glad you wrote this column, and I imagine it must have taken some courage to write.

I’m struck by the commonalities between your experience and those described by people with life threatening illness, or tragic bereavement. From the people who suggest a special diet to the ones who insist “everything happens for a reason,” to the ones who start a comment with some variation of “at least,” it’s clear that kind intentions don’t always translate to respectful support. Learning to actually hear the people we care about, to hear their discomfort above our own, and to make room in our own hearts to listen that deeply, is a skill many never develop. I hope, and trust, that you have people with those skills in your life.

Sending love.

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Paul Pleiss's avatar

Great stuff in there. Thank you for sharing.

It reminded me of something Maya Angelou said When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time. People know themselves much better than you do. That's why it's important to stop expecting them to be something other than who they are.

For me, it’s about actions. Actions tell who we are. I don’t know your story, but it sounds like you’re in a much better place today.

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