Five Holiday Songs in Need of New Covers
Doing justice to these unsung classics would put a band on the Nice List
When you spend enough time thinking about holiday music — which, as someone who curates a full ranking of the hundred-odd tracks that comprise our collective soft-rock-radio-in-December playlist, I clearly do — you notice when songs reach the point of diminishing returns for new covers.
Take “Santa Claus is Comin’ to Town.” I love “Santa Claus is Comin’ to Town.” Bruce Springsteen’s version is #1 on my latest holiday music rankings. But every subsequent recording sounds like an attempt to mimic Springsteen, whose signature reworked chorus was, in turn, borrowed from The Crystals. “Santa Claus is Comin’ to Town” is what a mathematician might call a solved problem. Yet it remains de rigueur for artists making Christmas albums to cut their own versions, which inevitably pale in comparison to The Boss’. “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas” and “Sleigh Ride” feel similarly oversaturated. And while there aren’t many covers of “You're A Mean One, Mr. Grinch” or “Christmas In Hollis,” the original renditions are so iconic that rerecording them seems like a futile enterprise.
On the other hand, some carols are ripe for new covers. Whether because it’s a beloved tune that lacks a clear definitive recording, or because a high-profile new version might help an overlooked song break through the arbitrary filters of what department-store DJs decide to play, each of the classics below would be a great lead single for a contemporary pop singer or rock band’s holiday album. Or in Moneyball terms, they represent market inefficiencies that enterprising artists could exploit for a good chance of a holiday hit.
Why am I writing about this the first week of June, basically as far away from holiday-music season as you can get within the Gregorian calendar? Because it takes time to plan, record, and produce an album, so in the off-chance this falls into Mariah Carey or Kelly Clarkson’s hands, maybe they could cut some tracks by December.
Let it Snow
The continued (if not increasing) prominence of “Baby, It’s Cold Outside” on December playlists is incredibly frustrating. It seems to me that, whether or not you think the song is problematic, the inclusive spirit of the holidays ought to mean respecting that many people don’t want to hear lyrics about spiking drinks. Especially when our cultural canon offers another beloved and much better song about whether wintry weather is a sufficient excuse for a lover to spend the night.
“Let it Snow” is my favorite of the common Christmas-adjacent tunes, and 80 years after its composition there is still no definitive version of it. Even the best covers you hear on the radio, by Frank Sinatra and Dean Martin, are hardly authoritative. The bar to record the best version of the best secular carol — and thus create an instant holiday classic — is a lot lower than it should be.
We Three Kings
I’ve had the pleasure of playing in multiple caroling bands over the years, and every time I hear woodwinds and brass play “We Three Kings” I am moved by it anew. It’s an elegantly simple tune with beautiful harmonies and countermelodies, and therefore a fantastic canvas for an artist to put their own touches on it.
The definitive pop recording of “We Three Kings” already exists: the hauntingly gorgeous rendition by The Beach Boys. (I’m also partial to Blondie’s punk version, though it strips out the choral elements I like so much.) Yet for whatever reason it’s not in the standard rotation when you’re flipping through FM stations or waiting in line at Kohl’s. In a perfect world we would change that; realistically that ship has probably sailed. So our best hope is for a contemporary band to put out a worthy new cover that DJs actually decide to play.
I Believe in Father Christmas
Some people find the dour self-importance of Greg Lake’s holiday protest anthem to be grating. To others (like me), Lake successfully sells his preachiness on the strength of his Prokofievian melody and the bombast of a 100-piece orchestra. Lately the skeptics have gotten their way: modern DJs now treat a song that hit #2 on the UK charts (behind some pretty tough competition) as a niche afterthought.
As far as I’m aware, the only notable band to cover “I Believe in Father Christmas” is U2, whose rendition is so boring and phoned-in that I’m only half-joking about my conspiracy theory that they don’t like the song and sandbagged their version in hopes of tarnishing the original’s reputation. I’d love for another artist to actually try putting their own creative spin on this charmingly bizarre carol. It would be tough to cover a song where the distinctive arrangement is so integral to its greatness — but then again, the original recording process hardly seemed auspicious at the time, either.
Rock of Ages (Ma'oz Tzur)
The average American’s exposure to Hanukkah music is as a punchline. There’s Adam Sandler’s now-four-part series of “The Chanukah Song[s],” the Borscht Belt stylings of Tom Lehrer’s “(I’m Spending) Hanukkah in Santa Monica,” and that moment in Straight No Chaser’s “The 12 Days of Christmas” medley when one singer awkwardly breaks into “I Have a Little Dreidel” — a strange joke that makes an already-godawful track also feel vaguely antisemitic. With the occasional exception of the Barenaked Ladies’ “Hanukkah, Oh Hanukkah,” soft-rock DJs eschew the rich tradition of Jewish celebratory music in favor of (mostly unfunny) comedy.
Enter “Rock of Ages,” a descendent of the Hebrew “Ma'oz Tzur.” It’s a gorgeous hymn whose best-known set of English lyrics shares similar themes to “Joy to the World” and “Silent Night.” I imagine any singer who does a good “O Holy Night” could also make “Rock of Ages” soar. As it happens, a quick Sandler-ian search informed me that Josh Groban is half-Jewish.
What Are You Doing New Year's Eve?
What bugs me most about “We Need a Little Christmas” is its anachronousness. “Silver Bells” and “Up on the Rooftop”? They’re boring, but I concede they are at least seasonably appropriate. By contrast, the yawn-worthy “We Need a Little Christmas” is about the fact that it’s the wrong time of year to celebrate Christmas. Its retcon into a holiday standard reflects what may be our society’s most-egregious musical misunderstanding this side of “Born in the U.S.A.” And as long as we’re listening to a mediocre song about how it’s not the holiday season, that may as well include a good one too.
Frank Loesser, who wrote “What Are You Doing New Year’s Eve?,” was a seasonal purist who resented that people mistook the story in his lyrics — of a head-over-heels suitor jumping the gun with their “jackpot question in advance” — as taking place in late December. I respect his prescriptivism. But the Rubicon has already been crossed, so if we must tolerate “We Need a Little Christmas,” Loessler’s sweetly lovesick tune should also be fair game. Like “We Three Kings,” we’re not lacking for a quality version, but I’ll be asking Santa for a worthy new rendition that would actually get some airplay (or inspire DJs to revisit Ella Fitzgerald’s).
"I'll Be Home For Christmas" never gets old, and if you are a decent singer, works for karaoke in December.
I'd like a metal version of "Oh Come, O Come Emanuel." Yes I know it's an Advent carol. But if "We Need a Little Christmas" counts then so does OCOCE.
Very nicely done! My dear and long-time friend Paul Graseck shared this with me. My guess is that you are already aware of Aimee Mann's album "One Drifter in the Snow," but if you're not, check out her version of "You're A Mean One, Mister Grinch." BTW, I think it may have been Aimee herself who once referred to her album as "have yourself a droll little Christmas."